


no grave can hold my body down (i'll crawl home to her)

by indecisiveaf



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, but has a happy ending, established mimo, fic might be a little sad, honestly i just wanted to write some poetry, nayeon makes a cameo, so i added some satzu in the mix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:42:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisiveaf/pseuds/indecisiveaf
Summary: "Marry me, Tzuyu-ah."Sana misreads her silence."Is that a no?" Sana murmurs into her hair, dropping a kiss into it."Ask me again in a year. Ask me again when your show premieres and the world falls in love with you the way I did. Ask me again when your face is on every billboard. Ask me again when your dream comes true."
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 42
Kudos: 128





	no grave can hold my body down (i'll crawl home to her)

**Author's Note:**

> satzu will always have a special place in my heart. title taken from hozier's work song! it's unedited but enjoy!

She tightens the jacket around herself to escape the biting winds of the night. Her lips feel blue, her hand feels cold but her heart feels warm as she gets closer and closer to the tall building. The lights that are on slowly disappear one by one, and Tzuyu waits outside, leaning against the lamppost, like she does every night. 

She thinks she has reached a point of familiarity, at least enough to nod at the ones who leave the building and wave at the others who smile knowingly at her. The rare ones, the people who know whom she's waiting for, stare sympathetically at her as the wind blows ruthlessly. But Tzuyu knows she would wait all night. 

It will be worth it. 

Tzuyu's smile widens, the world ceasing to exist, as she stares ahead and sees the familiar flash of blonde hair and a toothy grin, followed by a loud squeal as she skips towards her, both of their energies bouncing off of each other. 

"Tzuyu-ah." 

Tzuyu feels warm already. She closes her eyes and basks in it, hearing the sound of her footsteps getting closer and closer. Her hands reach out automatically, only to be enveloped by warm ones that are already reaching out for her. Tzuyu's smile doesn't fade as she watches the other girl flinch at how cold Tzuyu's feels but just grips it tighter, tangling their fingers together. 

They don't kiss, no, there will be plenty of time for that later. Instead, they exchange smiles and shy looks that convey everything they don't have to say out loud. Tzuyu rubs the back of her hand, her thumb grazing against smooth skin. 

"How was your day?" Sana's voice sounds closer than necessary, as she loops her hand through hers and Tzuyu lets her, because she knows she would use the cold as an excuse to initiate physical contact. 

"It was good. There weren't many customers at the restaurant today, so Momo-unnie was teaching me how to cook." 

"That's nice. Maybe you can teach me too." Sana scrunches her nose up and Tzuyu fights the urge to kiss her again. Instead, she settles for giving her hand a squeeze. 

"Maybe. If you can stop yourself from burning down the kitchen." Tzuyu can't help but add but she thinks her self-control might break as Sana's lips form a pout and Tzuyu wants to drive it away with her own. So she turns her gaze and stares ahead into fading city lights. "How was your day?" 

"Oh, it was good for me too." Sana bounces on her heels, nearly skipping even, clutching Tzuyu's arm tighter. "You won't believe what happened," Tzuyu has been around her long enough to know that she has been bursting to say that ever since they met for the night. 

Still, Tzuyu indulges with her a soft, "Oh? What is it?", because she knows Sana would want that. 

"I got the part. You remember I was telling you the drama club was planning to do a modern rendition of Romeo and Juliet? I got the part of Juliet!" She exhales the words in a rush, her eyes shining with excitement. 

Tzuyu wants to forget about the world and everything it stands for, because the urge to kiss Sana reaches its peak and Tzuyu is only human. But of course, the world still exists and Tzuyu is harshly reminded of it as the cars honk loudly in the streets and how beautiful Sana looks under the dimly lit streetlights. 

Tzuyu thinks about the fairness and unfairness that exists in the world, that it has progressed onto flying cars and traveling to outer space, but there are still some people who has a problem with girls kissing girls. 

So, Tzuyu settles for a hushed out, "That's great, unnie! I knew you would get it!" Her smile is so big that it stretches till her ears and Sana's finger pokes against her dimple, distracting her from the blush that coats her cheeks. 

Tzuyu doesn't say anything after that, letting Sana talk all the way back to their apartment. She thinks of the plenty of ways she can congratulate her later but the way Sana's eyelids droop, her head resting steadily against her shoulder as she leads the way, Tzuyu knows they won't make it past the couch. 

Sana doesn't speak as they reach their apartment, content enough to giving their tangled fingers a squeeze. She leans against the door, and if Tzuyu recalls, her eyes had never left Tzuyu's ever since she picked her up. Tzuyu feels like her entire body is on fire at the thought, but the corners of her eyes crinkle as she motions for Sana to go in. She takes their bags, dropping it down on the counter, and when Sana makes a move to go to their bedroom, Tzuyu pulls her back.

Sana turns around, and Tzuyu has her dimple on display, as she lets go of their hands only to wrap them around her hips, pulling her closer. They don't have to speak anymore, the lights aren't even on yet, but Tzuyu finds what she's looking for with such precision that stems from all the years they've known each other. 

In the comfort of their own home, their trust in the four walls to protect them, they let their bodies do the talking. 

Tzuyu has never been one for too many words, so she presses her lips to Sana's forehead, murmuring her congratulations. Sana's eyes flutter close at the gesture, her fingers clutching the ends of Tzuyu's work uniform a little tighter. Tzuyu moves down, presses another kiss right in between her eyebrows, one on the bridge of her nose, before capturing her lips with her own. 

She can feel Sana melting in to the kiss, the grip on her shirt loosening and Tzuyu cradles her face in her hands, smiling against her lips. Tzuyu feels alive, despite the tiring day she has had. Sana pulls away first, her head finding home in the nape of her neck. 

It is worth it, every night, coming home with Sana, and when Tzuyu falls asleep with Sana's leg thrown over her own, Tzuyu's hands holding her close, she dreams of it doing it forever. 

/

They are just barely out of college. Tzuyu has no idea what she wants to do. She graduates with an art degree, her girlfriend who is three years older than her, is a struggling theater artist. They own an apartment together - it's small, it's tiny, it barely fits two people but it's their home and Tzuyu wouldn't trade it for anything. 

She still continues her job at the restaurant, Momo is kind enough to let her work there while she she spends all her free time thinking about what she wants to do with life. She thinks she can join her friend Chaeyoung in her art studio and help her in some way, but Tzuyu still feels unsure about it all. 

Sana, however, is a force to reckon with. When she graduated, she was dead set about becoming an actor. It's the passion, it's the fire in Sana's eyes that drew Tzuyu in in the first place. Tzuyu sees it every morning when Sana wakes up, determined to make the best of her day. 

Tzuyu makes sure she does her best to keep the fire in her alive, for she never wants to live to see the day it gets extinguished. 

There are good days, and Tzuyu knows to celebrate that with Sana, by bringing home her favorite dish prepared by her favorite chef. There are great days, and Tzuyu celebrates by taking her out to a fancy restaurant and getting drunk on wine that they don't know how to pronounce. There are other days, the just because days, when Sana would surprise her at work and Tzuyu would drag her into the supply closet, coaxing her name out of Sana's lips with renowned want. 

(It's one of her favorite days, but Tzuyu would never tell her that.) 

Then there are bad days. Tzuyu never knows how to deal with bad days, no matter how many they have dealt with in the past. 

Like every other day, Tzuyu waits for her girlfriend to come out from the building and there's already a coil in her stomach twisting uncomfortably and Tzuyu feels it before she sees it. Something is wrong. 

She can make out the tear-stained tracks on her cheeks but Sana puts on a smile nonetheless as she approaches Tzuyu. She can't form words, always worried about saying the wrong thing so she reaches out for the hands that are already extended towards hers and Tzuyu hopes that her touch brings the comfort that Sana is looking for. 

Sana gives her another sad smile and Tzuyu thinks, _fuck it_ , as she stops in the middle of the sidewalk and kisses her forehead, her nose brushing against her hair. Sana chokes back a sob, and Tzuyu envelops her, hands finding each other in the back as Sana buries her face in her shoulder, unable to hold herself back anymore. 

"Shh, it's okay, it'll be okay." Tzuyu murmurs into her ear, hoping this would be enough. 

"They canceled the play. There wasn't enough funds." Sana mumbles against her jacket and Tzuyu holds her closer, trying to downplay her shock. 

"It's okay, there will be plenty - " 

"This was supposed to be my big break, Tzuyu-ah." 

Sana's voice breaks and along with it, Tzuyu's heart. 

Tzuyu pulls back, looking for the fire in her eyes, only to find empty irises staring back, just like the hollowness in her chest. She thinks about how many setbacks Sana has faced in the last couple of years, but she has never seen so devastated. 

It scares Tzuyu. 

"It will be okay," Tzuyu tells Sana but mostly to herself. 

The walk back to their apartment is filled with silence and not the kind Tzuyu usually enjoys. Tzuyu thinks it's not a bad day anymore, it is becoming one of the worsts. There are no squeals filling her ears as Sana encounters her day or Sana trying to be subtle about wanting to be closer to her, or Tzuyu turning to look at Sana only to find her already staring back at her. 

Instead, there is the emptiness in her eyes and Tzuyu's heart thuds faster, the love that she holds for the other woman threatening the life out of her. 

Tzuyu doesn't stop her today when Sana immediately heads for the bedroom as soon as they step foot in to their home. Tzuyu drops her bag, but still feels the weight on her shoulders and she breaks again when she finds Sana curled up on the bed, clutching the pillow to her chest. 

Tzuyu breathes a sigh of relief when Sana doesn't reject her advances, allowing herself to be held, as she cries, muffling her sobs on Tzuyu's shirt. "It will be okay," Tzuyu keeps repeating, until Sana believes it, until she believes it herself, until it becomes true. 

/

The next few days, Tzuyu wakes up to find Sana still in bed, appearing lifeless as she stares at the wall, the bags under her eyes getting more prominent from the lack of sleep. Tzuyu's goodbyes as she leaves for work gets lost into her skin but she still hopes Sana hears the I love you whispered into her ear. 

Tzuyu gets distracted at work, and honestly the only thing helping her at this point is muscle memory because she has been doing it for the past two years now. Her thoughts start out worried, for Sana, and ends up angry, on behalf of Sana, because the world is unfair and cruel to the gentlest of souls. 

"Momo-unnie, I don't know how to help her." She whispers one day, into the badly lit kitchen, when it's just her and her senior. She's glad she has her face turned away because she doesn't know how long she can hold it in herself. 

"Tzuyu-ah," Momo's scratchy voice brings a different kind of comfort that has been missing for a few weeks now. She knows Momo and Sana go a long way back, but it has been Tzuyu and Sana for quite sometime now, so she knows the impact of it on Momo too. "It's okay if we don't have all the answers. Sometimes all we can do is be there for people when they're down." 

Tzuyu doesn't mention how she drives herself crazy sometimes looking for answers to questions she hasn't even thought of yet, but instead, she just smiles timidly, and says, "You're right, unnie." 

She goes back to wiping the counters and when Momo practically kicks her out, because she is reluctant about going home, she awkwardly shuffles outside the entrance, contemplating about delaying her walk back home. 

She closes her eyes and pictures a distraught Sana on their bed and her previous thoughts vanish without a trace, her legs already carrying herself at inhuman speed, the urge to take care of her overpowering everything else. 

When Tzuyu hesitantly steps in, she is surprised to find Sana on the couch, dressed in one of Tzuyu's university shirts and her track pants spilling outside her legs, undoubtedly hers too. It brings back an odd sense of familiarity and Tzuyu smiles only to find Sana already smiling back at her. 

"Welcome home." She calls and extends her arms out and Tzuyu waits no time to crawl into it. 

"I love you," Tzuyu says and blushes, not having expected it herself. It's the only thought that has been running through her mind for the past week and Tzuyu cranes her head to kiss her softly against the exposed skin of her neck. 

Sana is amused and Tzuyu fights back another smile to see Sana feel like herself again. She tilts her head adorably, her nose scrunching up. "Well, that was unexpected. What's the occasion?" 

"Nothing," Tzuyu hums, her fingers making a trail from the base of her neck, down her sternum and rests against her stomach. Tzuyu enjoys how Sana's breath still hitches even, no _especially_ , at the softest of touches. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you." 

Tzuyu's entire body feels warm as Sana ghosts her lips against her hair, intertwining the fingers resting against her stomach and bringing it to her lips to press another kiss to it. Sana doesn't say it back, but instead, she tilts Tzuyu's head up and mashes their lips together. "Thank you," is all she says, "for loving me." 

Tzuyu hears every word that goes unsaid, and Tzuyu responds with a fervent kiss of her own, that she wants to make Sana feel that if she falls, Tzuyu will always be there to catch her. 

/

Tzuyu drums her fingers against the counter, lost in thought. It's a slow day at the restaurant, and Tzuyu is thankful, because she is definitely not in the right headspace to deal with a busy day. 

In her line of vision is Momo, stealing occasional bites of the food that is currently brewing on the stove, her face contorting depending on the taste. It would be highly amusing if Tzuyu wasn't so distracted.

"Tzuyu-ah," She snaps out of her reverie, walking towards her senior, "Come taste this." Tzuyu takes the offered bite and it tastes sour initially, making her face scrunch up, but once she swallows, she ends up liking the aftertaste. "Good, right?" 

"Yeah, this tastes great, unnie." 

"Oh, thank god." Momo sighs in relief, closing the lid. "Mina said she misses her mom's cooking so I got this recipe from her and I hope I do it justice. It's a little surprise I'm planning over the weekend, so hope that goes well." 

Tzuyu's smile is genuine. "She'll love it, I'm sure unnie." 

"Hopefully," Momo makes a show of crossing her fingers together, making the younger girl laugh. "How is Sana feeling, by the way?" 

"She's good. She went back to class today. So, hopefully things will start looking up again from now on." Tzuyu mirrors Momo's crossed fingers and smiles at the sound of Momo's loud laughter. 

"That's good, that's good. Tell her to text me back when she feels better. Mina has been looking for someone to go to the arcade with and I think it would be good for the both of them. Oh! Wait, that reminds me!" 

Momo slaps a hand to her forehead and walks away from the kitchen station, disappearing into the closet, leaving a confused Tzuyu behind. When she comes back, she has a folded piece of paper in her hands and thrusts it into Tzuyu's. 

"Mina would kill me if I had forgotten to give it to you." Momo shakes her head and Tzuyu scans open the paper, only to find a decorated flyer staring back at her. It's a flyer that has her frowning and she looks up at Momo. 

"Unnie, I don't know how she would feel about this." 

"Just give it to her, Tzuyu-ah. If she wants, she can use it. It's up to her." 

Tzuyu just nods in thanks, tucking the flyer safely into her pocket. It burns all the way back home, her mind already conjuring up images and scenarios that she dreads because the fire has slowly started to return, and Tzuyu doesn't think Sana has the same energy as before to deal with it again, _if,_ if things go wrong.

\-- 

Sana is standing by the kitchen, humming along to a song that Tzuyu has never heard before. It's a mundane thought, but Tzuyu thinks she would know the words to every song in the world if it were to fall from Sana's lips. 

"Hey, angel." Tzuyu grins, her footsteps quiet as she wraps her arms around an unsuspecting Sana. 

"And you call me cheesy," Sana says in lieu of greeting, turning in her arms and melting into the embrace. She rolls on her toes, inching forward to press a kiss into waiting lips and she says, "I missed you." 

Tzuyu nods understandingly because every minute that they spend apart, Tzuyu dreams of coming back home to a waiting Sana. It's her girlfriend's turn to cook dinner and Tzuyu tries to keep herself from laughing when she finds the discarded pans in the sink and a fresh bowl of ramen in the pot. Tzuyu pouts slightly having missed out on a disaster. 

Their house isn't that big, their kitchen overlooks the living room, and a tiny hallway that leads them straight to their bedroom. More often than not, they find themselves on the couch, their legs touching each other, holding a bowl of their dinner close, their go-to safe space if they ever needed one.

"How was your day?" Tzuyu asks, almost dreading the answer since it's Sana's first day back at the studio. 

"It was okay, we spent all day trading calls back and forth with other agencies, trying to land a gig." Sana says it casually, but Tzuyu can hear the edge in her voice and Tzuyu gently pulls her closer, Sana's head immediately finding residence on her shoulder. 

The flyer in her pocket threatens to burn a hole in her pants and before Tzuyu feels like she would spontaneously combust, she places her bowl of ramen on the tiny table in front of her. Ignoring Sana's eyebrows arching in confusion, Tzuyu pulls out the folded flyer, her eyes brimming with nervousness. 

"Momo-unnie wanted me to give you this." 

When she opens the flyer, Sana's hands start to tremble and she looks up at Tzuyu with so much fear, Tzuyu is immediately there to pull her close and her nose is buried in Sana's hairline as she mouths along the words with Sana. 

Sana doesn't say anything for a long time, staring ahead at the muted television. Tzuyu holds her close, kissing the side of her cheek occasionally. When she sees her lips starting to turn white from not moving, Tzuyu prompts her gently. "It's okay if you don't wanna go, I'm sure Mina-unnie will understand." 

Sana shakes her head, turning her body to look at Tzuyu with unblinking eyes. "It's not that. Do you think I should continue?" 

"Continue what?" 

"Acting." It's the lowest she has ever heard Sana sound. Tzuyu feels the tug in her heartstrings, and she can see the thread holding her together threatening to break at the tiniest bout of pressure. 

Tzuyu smiles and Sana doesn't expect her to. She goes along willingly when Tzuyu cradles her head in her hands, so they're eye to eye. Tzuyu looks for the signs of spark but all she finds is doubt and apprehension, something Tzuyu has never seen in her. "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you." 

Sana rolls her eyes but doesn't move away from Tzuyu's hold. Tzuyu waits with endless patience, as Sana breathes out, mulling over her words. "I don't want to pursue acting if it's not going to lead me anywhere. We still have bills to pay and I can look for other jobs because how long are we still going to be in this shitty apartment? I want to give you nice things, Tzuyu-ah, because you deserve it, because we deserve it - " 

Tzuyu kisses her, soft and languid that Sana's entire body stills in surprise before she smiles against her lips. "Becoming an actor is your dream. Do you want to quit on that?" 

"Dreams can change, Tzuyu-ah." 

Tzuyu feels her heart threatening to burst from her chest, the thought that Sana thinks of their future before her own, that Sana sees them together even further down the road, that Tzuyu envisions a beautiful picture already but there is a voice in the back of her head, telling her to stop.

Tzuyu closes her eyes, their lips still inches away from each other. She is three years younger in her mind, not aware of the things she knows now, but she pulls out her favorite memory that has been neatly tucked away in the corner of her mind. 

("I want to be famous, Tzuyu-ah." She remembers Sana saying, their limbs a tangled mess so much so that she had no idea where Sana began and Tzuyu ended. Sana whispers it like it's a secret. 

"You will," Tzuyu says, like it shouldn't be one. She says it with such conviction that she is ready to fight the world to prove her otherwise. Sana searches her eyes to see traces of the same doubts she has in her eyes to be reflected back at her, but she finds none. 

Tzuyu kisses her, until she believes. Tzuyu kisses her some more, just because. Tzuyu doesn't stop kissing her until dawn breaks, that she will keep her secret until she feels ready to let the world know it too.)

"No," Tzuyu shakes her head firmly, "Not yours. I know how much you love acting, I don't want you to give up on it." Sana discards the flyer on the table, using both her hands to pull Tzuyu closer. It feels like Tzuyu is reliving her memory and so she whispers, reminding her that she still believes. "I know you can do it." 

/

Sana is suspiciously quiet about the new agency she has enrolled in, and the only confirmation that the agency is treating her well she gets is when she kisses her smugly after Sana comes back home on the first day with a shy smile and thanks Tzuyu for telling her to get on with the opportunity.

It's a Friday, and Sana wakes up earlier than expected, being clingier than normal. When Tzuyu asks about what's bothering her, Sana's smile is so strong that Tzuyu believes her when she tells her not to worry about it. 

Tzuyu chooses not to ask questions as she kisses every inch of her skin she could reach when Sana asks her to wish her luck -Tzuyu murmurs against her lips that she doesn't need it. 

Sana calls her cheesy, blows her a kiss, and with renewed vigor, she walks out the door. 

Tzuyu hopes that she walks back in the same way. 

When she heads to the restaurant, she is surprised to find Mina there too, distracting Momo from the kitchen station in every way possible. Tzuyu feels like she's interrupting a private moment but Mina turns to welcome her with her signature gummy smile and forgets all about teasing Momo. 

Tzuyu really admires how Mina has chosen to hang out with them in the dingy kitchen on her day-off. Had it been her, she wouldn't have left her home or even her bed in the first place. Still, when Mina smiles at Momo like she wouldn't want to be anywhere else, it just makes her miss Sana more. 

By the time her shift ends, she is sure Mina has stolen enough bites of Momo's cooking that it could be considered a whole meal. She watches them with a fond smile on her face while her mind counts down the minutes left to go back home. 

Waving a goodbye to them, she dashes back home, feeling eerily curious. She is used to Sana texting her about the mundane things of her day and when Tzuyu opens her phone on her walk back, she is surprised to find radio silence. 

It's so unlike her girlfriend that when she walks in to the apartment, Tzuyu's curiosity only grows when she is ambushed at the door and nearly knocked back with the force of her hug. Tzuyu feels overwhelmed by the scent that she can qualify as 'Sana' and buries her nose in her neck until she feels drunk on it. 

Sana's legs are wrapped around her waist and Tzuyu adjusts her grip, both of them crossing the threshold together. Tzuyu waits again, with endless patience, not feeling the need to complain because the most beautiful woman in the world is in her arms, holding on to her, and if this is how it's supposed to be, then Tzuyu really has no complaints. 

"So," Tzuyu clears her throat, "This was a nice welcome. Is this how you're going to greet me from now on?" Tzuyu grins when Sana pulls back and kisses to her forehead, her shiny pink hair forming a curtain around them.

"Are you complaining?" Sana tilts her head adorably, and with unpracticed synchronicity, slides down Tzuyu who doesn't let an inch separate them. 

"Does it look like I am?" Tzuyu smiles, her dimple popping out and Sana pokes her cheek before leaning in to press her lips against it. 

"Thank you, Tzuyu-ah," Sana's voice is a whisper, calm and soft, and Tzuyu is sure that it doesn't even reach the walls because it barely reaches her ears. She feels giddy, that it's a moment that only she would share with Sana and not even the walls could talk about it, if asked about it after years. 

"For what?" 

"For just being you." 

"You're so cheesy." Tzuyu shakes her head but welcomes the kiss that Sana presses against her lips. She can also feel the energy bouncing off from her girlfriend that she suddenly can't stay still. "What's up?" 

"Well..." Sana drags her to the couch, pushing Tzuyu on it so she can settle in between her knees, using Tzuyu's legs as a stand. She appears practically giddy with excitement, bopping the tip of her nose with her index finger, "I landed a role." 

"That's great!" Tzuyu gasps, because it truly is. It's been only a week and her girlfriend has already progressed further? It's what she has expected of Minatozaki Sana of course, so she really isn't that surprised. "I'm so happy for you!" 

She is, she truly is, but she doesn't want to see her get disappointed again so she searches for any traces of apprehension in her face but all she finds is familiar fire, but this time it burns brighter than before, and it ignites something low in her, building up steadily. 

"It's for a CF and I'm going to be doing it with two other girls. It's not much but it's a start and honestly this place is so much better, because they are planning to air the CF right around mid-day, so we are expecting more views." Tzuyu nods along encouragingly, because god knows how much she has missed listening to her girlfriend just _talk._ "I actually asked for a copy of a demo, do you want to see it?" 

Tzuyu nods again, her smile bright enough to blind the sun. Sana lets out a squeal and Tzuyu pretends to cringe but she tucks it away in her box of memories because it's a happy sound and she would do anything to keep hearing it again and again. 

Sana pulls out her phone and plays the clip. It's actually a little longer than usual CFs but her girlfriend is dressed in blue, a contrast to her shiny pink hair, and she slides down floors, climbs rocks on walls, and she looks genuinely happy for a CF. Sana bites her lip, watching Tzuyu replay it again, "What do you think?" 

"Uh," Tzuyu gulps at the scene of Sana sliding down on the floor again with much interest, "You look great, as always." She kisses her reassuringly and pulls back, clearing her throat. "But I think you are too happy for a tampon commercial?"

Sana's phone falls to the floor and is forgotten because her girlfriend literally pounces on her, tackling her to the couch, surrendering her lips to hers. Sana grunts as Tzuyu tugs her closer, their thighs coming in contact that has Tzuyu's head spinning. This kiss is hot, fiery, and passionate, just like Sana. 

"What was that for?" Tzuyu asks as she pulls away, the feeling brewing in her gut overpowering her senses, especially when Sana wipes her bottom lip with the back of her hand. 

"For being you." Sana bends down, their lips inches away from each other. "It's also a commercial for Pocari Sweat." 

/

The commercial is a success, of course it is, and Tzuyu appreciates her girlfriend more and more with each passing day. Sana hides her face in her shoulder when Tzuyu yells out 'that's my girlfriend!' every time the CF comes on tv but she also rewards her with a kiss, because Sana's happiness is infectious. 

The next week is great, and Tzuyu shows off the CF proudly to everyone working the shift at the restaurant. Nobody asks her about her relationship with Sana because Momo has been playing the commercial on loop more than she has, so much so that it causes everyone to hum the theme song under her breath. 

Sana finally gets the recognition she deserves and Tzuyu wants to scream it from the rooftops when a little girl recognizes her girlfriend as they take the bus back home from visiting Momo and Mina's place. She just settles for a smug look and enjoys how Sana blushes under the intensity of her gaze. 

(Of course, she kisses her senseless once they're back in the apartment, they don't even make it past the door because Tzuyu repeatedly keeps telling her how proud of her she is, coaxing moans after moans until Sana is an incoherent mess.) 

But, with recognition comes more responsibility. Sana also gets noticed by more produces and Tzuyu gets worried about the market out there. She shares her worries about Sana being roped in by wrong hands but Sana kisses it away and asks her to keep her unwavering faith in _her._

Sana stays back late at work, because of her 'training' or whatever that is. Tzuyu picks up weird shifts at the restaurant since the apartment feels lonely at night without the presence of her girlfriend. It's not much but she misses how the entire apartment would come alive at the sound of Sana's loud giggles or her calling out Tzuyu's name every ten minutes because she is clingy and she makes it known. 

Sometimes, Tzuyu would come home right before midnight and she would fall asleep still without Sana by her side. But Tzuyu had made a promise that she would be nothing if not supportive, so she pretends she doesn't wake when Sana slips into the bed around two am, her hands going around her tall frame, almost draping her entire body over hers. 

This would lead to Tzuyu normally whining about personal space but this is the only time she actually gets to spend with Sana lately, so Tzuyu just holds her closer. It's when the entire world has succumbed into silence that the doubts slowly start to creep into her mind but she drowns it out with the sound of Sana's breathing. 

Tzuyu thinks it's all worth it when Sana refuses to leave home without a kiss, looking exhausted but delighted with her day's work. 

/

A month and a half later, Sana calls her during her shift to tell her that she landed a role in a k-drama. Tzuyu lets out a shriek so loud that could rival Sana's, but true competition comes when Momo joins in on her screaming. 

Sana asks if she could drop by the company because she wants to celebrate before they go back home. Momo kicks her out early because Tzuyu is buzzing with happiness that it distracts everyone else at work too. 

It's a nice surprise to arrive earlier than Sana had told her to and the fierce hug that Sana gives her the answer she's looking for. They keep a respectable distance, it's almost second nature to them, but Sana is nothing if not subtle so she tries to keep touching her when she thinks no one is looking. 

Tzuyu doesn't stop smiling and Sana doesn't either. 

Of course, everything goes downhill, when Sana's newly appointed manager, Im Nayeon, if Tzuyu recognizes her correctly because she has seen Sana mention her a few times, invites them into her office. 

She says it's a casual talk, but her gut tells her otherwise. 

/

"What are you thinking about?" 

"You." Tzuyu answers honestly, and smiles slightly when Sana rolls her eyes. Their roles are reversed, in every possible way, because she is laying on top of Sana, her fingers combing through her hair. 

Ever since they got back home, neither of them said a word, even though their thoughts were running along the same lines. Tzuyu finally breaks the staring contest, looking away from Sana's gaze but she is immediately brought back when Sana cradles both her cheeks in her hands, forcing her to look at her. 

"Be serious, Tzuyu-ah." 

"I am." Tzuyu mumbles, leaning into Sana's touch. Sana's thumb grazes her cheeks, the soft motion making her eyes flutter close every now and then. 

Despair builds slowly inside of her that this might be the last time she would ever get to do this. 

They fall into silence again, but it's neither comfortable nor welcoming. They know what they want to say to each other, but they also know neither of them would like what the other has to say. 

But nothing in her life would have prepared her for what's about to fall from Sana's lips. It's better than everything she has ever imagined, everything she has ever wanted, every sound, every syllable, nothing compares to, 

"Marry me, Tzuyu-ah." 

Tzuyu startles, her eyes as wide as the full moon. She loses the ability to breathe, staring at Sana with unblinking eyes. It plays on a loop before she regains rationality and she forces to stand her ground, even though the irrational part of her is screaming a _yes_ loud enough to drown her thoughts. 

"Be serious, Sana-yah." 

She rolls her eyes, even though the rise of her heartbeat says otherwise. Sana has a knowing smile as she sits up, pulling Tzuyu along with her. Sana's gaze is burning, her eyes glowing with want for Tzuyu that she would do something like _give in_ so Tzuyu hides her face in her neck. 

"I am, Tzuyu." Sincerity rings in every word. "If they want me to break it off with you until I finish shooting this drama, then I would do it by signing a certificate that says I'm yours before I sign a contract that says I'm theirs. That way, they can never take it - you - away from me, no matter how much they try." 

Tzuyu feels the moisture sting in the corner of her eyes, but she finds herself at a loss for words, swallowing the lump in her throat. It scares her, that Sana loves her almost as much as she loves Sana. Probably even more, but Tzuyu doesn't think she has ever measured the capacity of how much love can her heart hold. 

Sana misreads her silence.

"Is that a no?" Sana murmurs into her hair, dropping a kiss into it. 

Tzuyu finally finds her voice, but she still doesn't have it in her to look at Sana in the eye because the yes rests on her tongue, ready to jump out at the first sign of weakness and Sana's eyes are number one on the list. 

"Ask me again in a year. Ask me again when your show premieres and the world falls in love with you the way I did. Ask me again in a year when your face is on every billboard. Ask me again when your dream comes true." 

"Tzuyu-ah," Sana's whisper is desperate, "Please, none of this matters without you - I don't want to do this without you - " 

Tzuyu keeps her eyes closed, searching a path upwards on her skin with her lips until she finds Sana's. She swallows her pleas because with every passing moment, Tzuyu's resolve breaks but she made a promise to herself that she would never be the one to extinguish the flame in her eyes. 

"You can. And you will. Besides, a year will fly by quicker than you think. I'll be here waiting for you. Come back to me."

/

Tzuyu has never been more wrong because she can't even get through a day. It's a blur honestly, and all she remembers is waking up and falling back to sleep as the days go by. There's already a buzz surrounding Sana's drama and coming across it accidentally is what keeps her days going. 

Sana has an apartment on the other side of the city, courtesy of their company. Their home feels like nothing but walls now, as there is nothing to bring it to life except for Tzuyu's silent breathing and muffled cries on days that she misses her girlfriend. 

She takes Momo's advise and adopts a dog to keep her company. 

She breaks down into tears again because she names him Gucci and he has so much energy that could rival her girlfriend's, who is not here. Mina becomes their messenger, conveying information whenever she catches Sana at work, relaying Tzuyu's messages for her. 

She closes her eyes and imagines Sana is actually in front of her when Mina tells her that Sana can't wait to meet him. 

Tzuyu becomes incredibly mopey at the restaurant that it even manages to bring the ever exuberant Momo down. The best part about working there was the walk back home so she can see her girlfriend again. When Momo pulls her aside one day and tells her that it is okay for her to go and pursue something else that she wants to, it doesn't mean waiting around for Sana would make it hurt any lesser, but it would be nice to keep her mind occupied.

It hits her like a train because of course she doesn't want to spend it at the kitchen even when she has great company in that place. So she walks around on her off-days, Momo still kind enough to let her hang around at this job before Tzuyu finds something else. 

It's by accident that she comes across her friend's art gallery. 

She remembers Chaeyoung still like how she used to be in college - dressed in loose t-shirts with sayings on them and baggy shorts with paint smeared across it. She really looks like she could use some help and Tzuyu is more than happy to do it, because being at the restaurant just makes her miss Sana even more. 

Turns out, Momo is right, because a change in her routine makes her think about her separation less. In it, she also discovers something new about herself. Chaeyoung mentions about the new project she is working on and she feels it come to her naturally when she pulls a sketchpad and starts a design for clothes that she has so far only envisioned in her mind. 

Chaeyoung looks at her gratefully because she is helping her out and it's the first day in three months that Tzuyu doesn't spend the entirety of thinking about what Sana might be doing. 

When she gets back home with a smile adorning her lips, she is greeted by Gucci knocking her back on her feet with his greeting that Tzuyu's laughter fills the apartment for the first time since Sana's absence that she knows Sana is missing her too. 

/

She works along with Chaeyoung now. Momo had dropped by her apartment, bringing her a bowl of kimchi stew and with a glare in her eyes that just because she's not working for her anymore, doesn't mean they have to be completely out of each other's lives. 

Tzuyu thinks about how everything reminds her of Sana, how interwoven their lives are, that no matter where she goes, she can never escape the inevitable truth that Sana is hers and she is Sana's. 

Still, there are some things that test her own faith. 

Mina texts her in the evening that Sana is doing an interview on tv today. Tzuyu contemplates until the last possible minute and then eventually gives in, the urge to see her again winning over everything else. 

Sana's appearance on her screen is a harsh reminder but she has already been seeing her face on posters in the subway and on the walls behind Chaeyoung's gallery so she thinks she is getting used to the difference. 

Sana is her usual charming witty self except she looks a thousand times more beautiful with the camera on her and the lighting that accentuates the color of her skin. Tzuyu finds herself unable to tear her eyes away from the tiny television screen. 

It's going well, Tzuyu smiling every time Sana laughs or does her signature hair flip that warrants a few wolf whistles from the audience. Everything comes to a startling stop when the interviewer asks the dreaded question. 

He asks if Sana is seeing someone and Tzuyu reels when Sana catches the eye of her co-star, a stunning man whose name suddenly blares in her mind under red neon lights, and then shakes her head. 

The interviewer misreads the exchange and soon after the interview ends, Tzuyu makes the second mistake of the night by going on the internet to find a portmanteau of Minatozaki Sana and her co-star's name floating around. 

Her third mistake of the night is that she breaks their no-contact rule by sending her a text that can be interpreted in so many ways. 

\-- 

Of course, their fates are intertwined so it's inevitable that Sana makes the same mistake she does too. 

Sana breaks the no-contact rule. 

It's the dead of the night, Tzuyu falling asleep on the couch herself, but she startles awake when Gucci starts barking at the knock on the door. She puts him in her bedroom and she can feel the blood thumping in her veins that before she opens the door she knows who is on the other side of it. 

Sana. 

The rest of the night is a blur. They don't exchange greetings or make time for small talk because Sana dives right in, hands and limbs everywhere as she towers over Tzuyu, kissing every possible inch that she could reach. 

Tzuyu carries her over to their room - it's still theirs, just like everything else in the apartment, including herself. 

Sana writhes underneath her, grinding and undulating, that it drives Tzuyu crazy as she runs her hands along the length of her body, because the night isn't over yet and Tzuyu is going to cherish every minute of it. 

She leans against the headboard, snaking her nose down the expanse of Sana's throat as the other woman grinds against her thighs. Tzuyu hesitates, her teeth inches away from her skin and she opens her eyes to ask for permission. 

Sana's breathless, "Please," drives her over the edge and Tzuyu sinks her teeth into her neck and the moan Sana lets out a moan that is feral and guttural, and Tzuyu loses it. She admires her handiwork, her tongue soothing over it and Sana arches her back, surrendering herself to Tzuyu. 

There's an insatiable urge to keep hearing the moans that Sana lets out every time she leaves a mark over Sana's skin, tainting her with purple colored tints that sprout off as Tzuyu descends lower and lower, gently laying her down on the bed. 

She thinks Sana falls apart from exhaustion as Tzuyu tries to spell out her name with her tongue on the part where Sana needs her the most, and she doesn't get past the first 'u' before Sana mewls out her name over and over until her breathing becomes labored. 

It's her way of telling that she is hers and in the way Sana calls out her name, echoing within the four walls, she knows it's Sana's way of telling her she is hers. 

Tzuyu throws the covers over their body, falling asleep as soon as her head hits the pillows for the first time in six months.

Sana isn't there when she wakes up. She doesn't know if she wants to be glad or disheartened by the fact but she she closes her eyes and can still feel the remnants of the goodbye kiss that Sana left against her cheek. 

Tzuyu waits for the shame or the embarrassment that is sure to follow with the way she has tried to claim Sana's body in ways unimaginable but all it does is bring bouts of sadness because Sana isn't there to bring light on their night's events. 

Tzuyu breaks down completely when there is a note left on the night stand, Sana's lipstick mark pressed into the corner of it.

_My heart is yours too. Don't forget that._

/

It's the day of the premiere and she sees Sana's face everywhere, except for where she wants her the most, _right by her side._

/

Tzuyu finds herself standing near the kitchen counter, keeping an eye on the television screen and on the tea that is brewing on the stove. Gucci is awfully quiet, but Tzuyu is used to the silence by now, so she doesn't think much about it. 

She carefully avoids tripping over the discarded clothes on the floor, the result of the various trials and errors from working on Chaeyoung's project that she has brought with herself to her home because she knows she won't be sleeping tonight. 

Tzuyu waits, the tea warming her hand as the night starts to get colder. She balances the bowl of popcorn in the other hand, trying to keep it out of Gucci's reach. She stares at the small clock on the wall and counts down the minutes before it begins. 

There's a knock on the door and this time Tzuyu isn't prepared for it. 

It knocks the wind out of her, like it does every time she looks at Sana, her beauty stunning her speechless. It's Sana, her Sana, the love of her life Sana, standing outside her door, her head tilting adorably as she regards Tzuyu with a casual smile. 

"Tzuyu-ah," Sana never says 'hi', it's always her name that drips down like honey from her lips, "Can I come in?" 

Tzuyu rolls her eyes, moving aside to let her in. "Of course. It's still your apartment too." 

"Ours," Sana amends quietly and Tzuyu feels the entire world stop moving under her feet. She thinks she will never be prepared for how easily Sana can take her breath away with words as casual as they are. 

She surveys the apartment, awkwardly standing in the middle and notices the cup in her hands, the blanket on the couch, Gucci barking excitedly as he surrounds her feet, and the quiet noise of the television running in the background. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" 

"Oh, no, no," Tzuyu shakes her head - there could be world war three going on outside and Tzuyu would drop everything to talk to Sana - "I was actually getting ready to watch your show." 

"Oh," Sana blushes at the awe in Tzuyu's tone, like she still isn't used to the way Tzuyu regards her, high and higher. 

Tzuyu motions for her to take a seat on the couch, both of them sitting on the opposite ends of it. It's not awkward but they also don't do anything to reduce the space between them. "Want to join me?" 

"No!" Sana's yell startles both her and Gucci who starts barking again. Sana reaches for him and as if she has known him all along, pets him with care and affection that it feels like straight out of Tzuyu's daydream. "No," Sana says sheepishly, "I mean, I don't want to watch _myself_ on screen. I don't think I'm ready for that yet." 

"I get it," Tzuyu nods, "It will be like watching your reflection on the mirror do things that you have no control over." 

Sana looks up from petting Gucci and looks at her with a heart-stopping smile, "I will never understand how your mind works." She says fondly that even her attempt at an insult comes out like a compliment. 

Sana glances around and smiles at the array of discarded pieces of fabric lying on the ground. "So I heard you're now a designer, huh?" 

It's Tzuyu's turn to blush but she doesn't let it show. "Yeah," She grins, dimples on display, "Maybe I'll design one for your next red-carpet event." 

It's her way of saying that their lives won't go back to the way it was but also it's new and exciting. The words hang in the air, waiting to be steered into the conversation that was inevitable ever since Sana walked into the door. 

"Yeah, and you can show it off with me, when I take you as my date." 

Tzuyu stops breathing. Sana has uncomplicated things in the usual Sana way, rendering her speechless with her words. Sana smiles shyly, her gaze burning, and Tzuyu feels herself floating with only Sana's stare tethering her to the earth. 

Sana carefully places Gucci down before she stands up and extends her hand to Tzuyu. "Will you do something for me, Tzuyu?" 

"Anything." It's a vow. 

"Will you go look outside the window for me?" 

Their apartment overlooks one of the busiest streets in Seoul, and usually it's just traffic that serves as a view but with her eyebrows furrowing in confusion, Tzuyu does what Sana asks her to. 

Tzuyu stifles a gasp as she takes in the view. 

"What do you see?" 

Sana's voice sounds so far-away, but Tzuyu is momentarily stumped, unable to find the right emotion or the right words that would describe how she feels. Instead, she settles for the style that she knows best: simple. 

There, on the billboard right alongside one of the skyscrapers, is Sana. 

"You."

When Tzuyu finally tears her eyes away from the huge poster and turns around, she doesn't hide her emotions this time, gasping out loud. 

"What?" Sana's laughter rings through the apartment and Tzuyu doesn't know if it's herself or if she's feeling overwhelmed by her emotions, but she feels the apartment - their home - coming back to life. "Did you think I would forget?" 

Sana is on one knee, her eyes shimmering with the flame that Tzuyu can recognize that it's for _her._

Tzuyu wants to say so many things, she wants to rival Sana's cheesiness, she wants to tease her for being so dramatic, she wants to tell her that she is more proud of her than she could ever imagine, but all she does is extend her hand out and say, "Ask me." 

"Tzuyu-ah, will you marry me?" 

/

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i planned to write a fic <2k but it ran long lol. hope you liked it. thanks for reading <3
> 
> come find me on twitter at @mimotrash97


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